Why Yu Is Never Going Back To Inaba
by TheAlmightyDork
Summary: Yu had a crazy year. One that was guaranteed to kill braincells and cause global inbreeding. Theses are the reasons why Yu is never going back to that town again...
1. The Naoto Incident

Dojima sipped from his coffee cup as he tried to organize his scrambling thoughts.

"_Th-There's no way that Yu is... Right?_"

The aging detective shifted in his chair as the situation once again came crashing down on him.

It all started the previous night...

* * *

_Dojima was tired... so very tired._

_He had just gotten home, not even through the front door, when he was hit by a semi-truck of exhaustion. His bones and muscles ached with every centimeter of motion. The constant call-ins from the newbies were physically killing him..._

_His eyes were getting heavier, as were his legs, when he spotted the couch in the modest living room of the modest home. It looked like an oasis in a long and dry desert, one that Dojima knew better than to ignore._

_He made his way to the couch, practically jumping on it in glee. The relief was instant as his aching body went numb with pleasure. The desire to sleep was getting almost voracious, pulling his eyelids down and raising them at slower intervals. Surely he had earned a quick cat nap? Keeping a town safe took a lot out of a guy, you know?_

_He placed the blue cap on the table next to him over his eyes, shielding them from the light. It was perfect, if a little too small. Dark enough to block out all light, but it took a little rearranging to get it just right. Still, he had found the perfect position to... wait._

_'Whose hat is this?'_

_Did anyone he know wear a hat like that? He could have sworn..._

"_S-Senpai!"_

_He heard a voice from upstairs. It sounded incredibly familiar..._

"_Please! C-Continue what you are doing!"_

_'Is that Naoto?'_

_His nephew and Naoto Shirogane had actually grown quite close after the kid detective's disappearance. That was actually a common trait with the kidnapping victims. From the Amagi girl, to the idol Rise, to Kanji Tatsumi of all people, a friendship was established between them all. Must've been a weird group therapy thing. He didn't care. It was good that they were all helping each other... even if some of them were a little _eccentric_. Mainly that blonde kid... fuck that guy._

"_Y-Yes! Just like that!" Shirogane's distinct voice rang out again. Dojima guessed that the two were up there playing some kind of video game or something. Kids are weird... But what got his attention was how shaky his voice was. Was that kid nervous about something?_

"_D-Deeeepeer!" _

…

_Okay. That was weird... It was almost as if-_

"_**FUCK ME HARDER, SENPAI!**"_

…

_Dojima tried to get off the couch, but he was paralyzed. All motor functions were unavailable for the moment. Even his brain was on the "REFRESH" list. All he knew was that he was very very scared at the moment. At that moment, he finally realized the... **thumping** coming from the upstairs bedroom. It was very quick and... Oh God..._

_'I think I'm gonna vomit...'_

_He had never realized that his nephew... _swung that way_, if you caught his drift. But it did make sense in a way... _

_He never invited any girls to his room, just that Junes kid and Tatsumi... **OH DEAR SWEET GOD, NO!**_

_His nephew-! His sister's son-! Nanako's unofficial Big Brother-!_

"_AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAhhhhh!" _

_Naoto's **satisfied** moans would haunt Dojima's nightmares for many years to come as he curled up in a ball, merely pondering where he went wrong._

_'I knew I should've hit him more...'_

* * *

Dojima was barely able to look at Naoto or Yu when they came downstairs. He merely stared out into space, unable to be contacted by any form of human life.

He nearly panicked when the boy detective retrieved his hat from the "sleeping" man's head, but it was not like he could have done anything about it anyway. He used the last bit of energy he had crying himself to sleep, being forced to listen to the same... _performance_ repeat itself throughout the night. Naoto had serious issues due to some of the comments he made during the... sessions.

They included, but are not limited too:

"Senpai! Treat me like the woman I am!"

"Harder! Harder! Beat my vagina to death!"

"Not in there! I do not want children!"

"SUCK MY CLIT, AND CALL ME MAMA!"

A bit of bile came up in Dojima's throat as the memories came back. The girlish screams, the thumping, the groans of his nephew as he... **finished**.

So he merely sat at the kitchen table. His cup shaking violently in his hands as he took continuous sips from a drink long since finished.

"Uncle, are you alright?" Yu asked as he stared into Dojima's traumatized face. He had just stood there watching his uncle move that cup to his lips for the last two hours, and he was starting to get worried. Yu had never realized his uncle had returned home the previous night, too busy helping Naoto... discover her femininity. He guessed that his uncle had just crashed on the couch when he got home, but when he came back home after walking his new girlfriend home he saw Dojima just sitting at the breakfast table. His eyes held horror beyond imagination, as if trying to comprehend a mere fragment of a fragment of the terror would drive you irreparably mad.

"Yu..." Dojima said after a long, tension-filled silence.

"Yes?" Yu could not keep his worry down, his eyes going wide as he jumped from his seat across from his uncle.

"What is your opinion on penises?"

* * *

_A/N_

This is Plague. I'm bored, so I'm starting a one-shot thing. The influences include my own insanity, tears of the orphans I piss on, and Robot Chicken. Expect things to go _fucking bananas_. And let's face it, we all wanted this to happen in P4.

Edit: What the fuck is up with the first sentence? How the hell did I miss that? Seriously...


	2. The Chie Incident

Yu stared at the screen of his television, the only source of illumination in his room. The vague figure mocked the grey haired teen, his thoughts taking it as if the image said "try and found out who I am!". The ticking of the clock on the wall only intensified the time limit. Each second caused his heart to race faster. He had to be ready. He needed to make a plan.

"**So... Which one's your type?**"

Oh, you thought he was thinking about the figure on the Midnight Channel? Nope. Fuck that loser. He had to tell his buddy, Yosuke, which of their female friends he would enjoy playing a round of 'Hide Your Genitals in The Other's'.

"Well..." the young man began, "it's a tough call."

"**Guess I know what you mean,**" Yosuke responded hesitantly. "**Chie's fun to be around and all, but come on! Yukiko's a freakin' knockout, man!**"

"Yeah, but she's pretty boring beyond that..." Yu rubbed the back of his neck with the arm not being used to hold his phone to his ear.

"**What'd ya mean?**" Yosuke asked, genuinely shocked.

"I mean that what is she beyond the Inn Chick?" Yu shrugged his shoulders as he spoke. "Her problems are kinda goofy too."

"**Dude,**" the other teen began harshly, "**I don't even want to know what you're talking about.**"

"She's all 'Oh, my family wants me to run this inn! But fuck that shit! I want to find a prince who will take care of me my whole life, and piss on my parents' faces!'" Yu said in a falsetto voice to mimic a teenage girl.

"**Yeah, you got a point there...**" Yosuke himself could not deny how Yukiko's problems seem to have stemmed from childish rebellion. Compared to what some people may have locked up in their skulls, anything from gender identity issues to being the one responsible for the slaughter of countless things that no one actual cares about beyond you, her problems seemed pretty... insignificant.

"Chie's pretty hot though." Yu said simply.

"**Whoa!**" Yosuke practically screamed. "**I'd say, at most, that she's cute! Where did **_**hot **_**come from!?**"

"I got a boner from that weird dominatrix, Shadow fight." Yu said with the confidence of a hardened veteran of the sea. "That is my retort to your statement."

"**...**"

"I am proud of my bod-!"

"**Dude... check your phone...**" Yosuke's tone worried Yu. It sounded as though he had a gun to his head and had to choose which of two fat orphans would devour him alive.

"Why? I'm already talking to you." Yu raised an eyebrow. Yosuke sounded terrified, no _petrified_. Like he stared upon one of the Lovecraftian gods itself. The pure, icy terror in his voice caused Yu to remove the phone from and his ear, and for his eyes to look on the screen.

"Oh... fuck..."

On the screen, clear as day, were the names of the people participating in the call.

_**Yu Narukami**_

_**Yosuke Hanamura**_

**Chie Satonaka**

The silence that proceeded was unimaginable. Yu couldn't even hear his own heartbeat, or his breathing. It was simply... _nothing_. He could have heard a pin drop from a moon in a completely different galaxy. Even the sounds of the rain drops against his window vanished.

However, after a few seconds that felt like an eternity between each, he could hear something from Yosuke's end.

They were heavy stomps, like a horrid beast was tearing its way through his young friend's home. Each one was followed by the panicked screams of Yosuke.

"**OH GOD, I'M GONNA DIE!**"

**STOMP**

"**Seriously! Dude, you have to help me!**"

**STOMP**

"**Oh God! Oh God!**"

**STOMP**

"**Please! If I live through this, I swear I'll stop making fun of Yu behind his back!**"

**STOMP**

"**Sh-She's here! Hide! Everyman for hims-! ~_YOOOOOOSUUUUUUUUKEEEEE!~_**"

All Yu could hear after that was a girlish shriek of fear, followed by a crack that could be heard from his house without the phone.

"Yosuke! Yosuke! YOSUKE!"

It was too late. The call ended, leaving Yu to stand paralyzed in the middle of his room. What could he do? Any minute he would hear those same stomps coming for him. The sounds of a teenaged Grim Reaper who desires the blood of those with a Y-chromosome.

"Oh God..."

The sounds of the rain intensified, like each droplet was a fist trying to smash its way through the thin glass. Every few seconds, a clap of thunder would cause Yu to jump.

"_She's coming for me!_"

That thought repeated itself over and over in his head.

"_She's coming for me! I'm gonna die!_"

"Big bro?"

"JESUS TITTY-FUCKING CHRIST!" Yu shrieked as he launched himself to the wall, his hand clutching his pounding chest.

"Big bro!?" his cousin Nanako called from his bedroom door. Her little voice sounding terrified by the outburst.

"OH!" Yu relaxed the moment he realized who it was. He relaxed his body and gave a massive sigh. "Nanako, you scared me to death..."

"Are you okay?" Nanako asked innocently, the six year old could recognize something was wrong with her unofficial 'big-bro'. He was usually always so calm and collected.

"Yeah," Yu pushed himself off the wall and walked to the door. "I'll be fine, just a shock, at most."

He opened the door, the process taking an eternity to complete. In fact, all around him time seemed to slow to a crawl. The rain drops became independent drips from each other, one falling a few after the other. His clock ticking every couple seconds, a difficult and confusing concept to him. However, he recognized the sensation due to his battles in the Television World.

It was the rush of adrenaline when a dangerous foe was near...

"Oh yeah! Chie-san said she had to talk to you about something!"

The door opened to reveal a smiling little girl, and a pissed off bowl-cut, brown-haired teenage girl in a green jacket.

The color drained from Yu's face as Chie forced herself into his room and slammed the door shut.

The click of the lock sealed the fate of the young man

* * *

_A/N_

I'm here with another shot of incident. I feel like this one may not be too good because I wrote it after my **basement fucking flooded**! Which may have in fact **killed my Vita**! So I was a little frustrated. But I will continue with the whole "X-incident" thing. Because I can make it vague enough to where I don't spoil the jokes.

Speaking of jokes, I apologize if they're not funny enough. I got a fucked up sense of humor which is **not **enough for everyone.

But please leave a review if you liked/hated it. Any opinion helps.


	3. The Hospital Incident

Yu was having a bad day...

First off, he forgot that he needed to study the previous night for a pop quiz. Then he forgot to set his alarm and barely squeaked into school by mere seconds. Add that with the fact that the quiz had nothing on it that they even learned whatsoever, and the fact that the creepy janitor still thought he was a girl masquerading as a boy and sent him more love letters in his locker... Along with photos that he seriously considered giving to his uncle.

"_It looked like a pickled baby arm holding a mushing peach..._"

Thoughts of elderly genitalia aside, he remembered that he had to work at the hospital that night as a part-time janitor. It started off as a way to earn some quick money, just a way to have more pocket change to buy snacks... and weapons. Not that the last part was important. However, he discovered something important in his job. Namely, the nurse Sayoko. The flirtatious vixen that loved playing mind games with him. The woman certainly was attractive, but the 'affection' she showed him made the young teen very uncomfortable around her for all the wrong reasons.

"_Damn..._" Yu mentally hissed at the scuff in one of the hospital hall windows that refused to come out. The tiny spec threw off the teen as he wiped his rag in circles over it, trying to force the thing away. But no matter how hard he tried, the spot persisted. "_Come on, you!_"

The squeaking of the glass was burrowing itself in Yu's head. He felt the rag get hotter and hotter as he forced it to go faster and faster. His teeth grit, his gaze stiffened. He readied his bottle of cleaning fluid for battle. His headphones blared an inspirational song that cannot have its lyrics shown due to legal reasons. Don't like it? Blame the copyright.

He pushed the strange thoughts away and continued his onslaught against the frustration-incarnate, aka the speck on the window. He could handle the physical manifestations of humanity's psyche, all wishing to _kill him_. He could handle playing armchair psychiatrist to half of the town, somehow just hanging out with people and it causing them to spill out their darkest secrets and deepest regrets. He could handle half of the girls in his school all butchering each other to so much as touch him; he actually saw one girl stab another in the eye with a pencil just so she wouldn't talk to him. He could handle all of that. _But not that fucking spot on the window!_

"_Is this even inside!?_"

He could hear the squeaking intensify, rubbing far too hard and fast for the glass to handle. His mind was set, his body was ready! He would defeat the devil speck and return home with glory! Nothing could distract him now!

"Hey there, cut-!"

The words of Sayoko were cut short as Yu spun around, delivering a bone crushing punch to her face. She went down without a sound, laying flat on the floor of the hospital. Blood dripped from her nose as a bruise formed itself over her right eye.

"Oh shit!" Yu hissed to himself, realizing what he had done. He stared down at Sayoko in shock, trying to comprehend what just happened. He was cleaning, then boom! She was on the ground, out like a light.

"_This is bad!_"

He scanned the halls of the hospital, trying to see if anyone saw him punch out the nurse. It was clear, so he gave a sigh of relief. He knew that it was a bad situation. He knew that! But he was also thankful that all the training in the TV World was paying off. For all he could know, she could have been a psychopath! Or a witch! Or some kind of horrid combination of the two.

"_Okay, I have to take care of this..._"

He knew he couldn't just leave Sayoko on the floor. He knew what he had to do.

* * *

"Come on. Get in there!" Yu whispered to Sayoko, fiddling with her unconscious body in the small supply closet. Every time he tried to lift her to her feet, she would slump back down to the ground. It was a frustration experience, and one that was sure to go down in his diary that night.

"_D-Diary!? I-I meant journal!_"

It took him a few seconds to remember that he was _thinking _that, and not telling anyone about the pink diary his parents got him because they wanted a girl instead.

He shook his head of the expository thoughts and finally managed to get Sayoko caught on the coat hanger in the closet, catching her by the neck of her uniform. The position kept her on her feet, but left a bit too much... _exposed_. Her cleavage was emphasized due to the uniform pressing against her; her legs showed, teasingly displaying the edges of her panties. The provocative position gave Yu another idea that was pure genius.

"_Where's a piece of paper?_"

* * *

"Where is Sayoko?" A nurse asked her friend, worry in her voice. She had not seen her all night, and it was starting to freak her out.

"Think she's in the supply closet," another nurse answered her, striding her way down the hall.

"What's she doing in there?" the nurse said to herself as she opened the door to the closet, seeing Sayoko hanging there, looking more like a beaten prostitute with a nurse outfit on.

"My god! What happened!?" The nurse searched Sayoko for any wounds beyond the black eye and bloody nose, causing something to fall from her hand. The nurse picked it up and read the words aloud.

"_'Please do not rape. Thank you._'"

* * *

_A/N_

Holy fucking shit! I completely forgot about this story until somebody posted a review asking for an update. I apologize for the long wait, and I am serious there.

But I went a bit blue for this one, being raunchy and dark humor. But I always thought that something like this would happen, what with Yu and his friends training in the TV World, you'd think they'd either have super PTSD or some kind of reflex type thing. But no, they're all able to take their near death experiences like **men**.

Next one shouldn't be this long. Please leave a review either telling me a suggestion to improve or just calling me the king of asses, either is fine. Also! You guys can PM me if you want me to write out a prompt for you guys. I'm bored as hell, and am willing to do just about anything.


	4. The Diary Incident

Yu was walking through the local floodplain, enjoying the pitter-patter of rain against his umbrella. He always enjoyed the days with rain. He never felt constricted by a schedule, or dragged by the wrist into someone else's mess. Instead, he could relax, taking in the fresh scent of wet grass and the soothing rush of the river. He was completely alo-

"_OH GODDAMN IT!" _Yu screamed in his mind, noticing a familiar blue hat behind a nearby bush.

Naoto Shirogane continued to be a massive pain in his ass. The boy detective continued to follow him relentlessly, believing that he was being 'stealthy'. But considering his... _abnormal_ hair color, he stood out easily. The bite-sized inspector had a theory that Yu and his friends were involved with the kidnapping/murder spree that plagued Inaba the last few months. What made it worse was that he was totally right...

"_Trying to save people, and you get midget-sized detectives ruining your Me Time..._"

The strange chuckle from the bush peaked Yu's interest. Was Shirogane mocking him? That dick! He should prepare a little surprise for him...

_**January 12, 2003**_

_Mom left me at home again. She said that she was finding me 'a new dad'. Just like that last three times... But why was she holding that whip? And why did dad go with her with that collar on?_

_Adults are weird..._

Naoto continued to giggle to herself as she read Narukami's diary. Due to her incredible detective skill, she was able to swipe the strangely pink book from the suspect's room with out a single piece of evidence alluding to her presence. She knew that flipping through someone's private writings, snickering like a school girl with a crush, was incredibly immature, but she could not deny the fun in it.

She certainly discovered more than enough gossip material to mimic a usual teen of her age. But that was not what the... 'analysis' was for. It was purely to set up a psychological profile. Nothing else.

"_Ooooh! This one was just written!_"

_**September 2, 2011**_

_I had that dream again. Where I wrestled with Nanako. I'm considering talking to somebody about it, but nobody seems interested. Yukiko made me taste her shitty cooking, but that's not new. Still feels like something is **controlling me**, but I've gotten used to it. _

_Did more training in the TV World. Didn't tell the others I went though. Still couldn't hide from Rise... or her 'cake'... That girl ruined whip cream for me. Not looking forward to Christmas._

_That kid, Naoto, is still following me. He thinks I can't see him, and I aim to keep it that way. If he knew that I knew, then he would know that I knew about the TV Wor-_

"ARE YOU READING MY DIAR-JOURNAL, YOU BASTARD!?" Yu shouted in rage, noticing the interest of Naoto as he snuck behind the bush.

"Waah!" Naoto panicked, jumping to his feet before crashing into Yu.

The two fell hard onto the ground, a mass of limbs and wet clothes as the adrenaline wore off.

A soft sensation pressed against Yu as he felt Shirogane press against him, falling over himself to get to his feet. Yu noticed the bright red face of Naoto as he ran off a mile a minute. Yu retrieved his diary, his eyes wide and white. And all that went through his head was a single thought...

"_Why did that guy have boobs...?_"

* * *

_A/N_

Short and sweet. Sorry people who have been waiting on this story. Been doing another play at my local theater, so that ate up time. Promise that it won't take as long next time.


	5. The Phone Incident

Tensions were high. No one knew what to do. Every second felt like they were worth billions. They had no time to waste.

They were at the police station, where Dojima took Yu after discovering the second warning letter. Shortly after Dojima's interview, they discovered the Nanako was the next one targeted by the Midnight Channel; the paranormal phenomenon responsible for numerous deaths around Inaba throughout the year. And a small child was next. Not only a child, but Dojima's daughter, Nanako. Dojima himself rushed out of the room when the police land-line was brought in, with Naoto on the phone to explain that Nanako was already taken. Soon after, an unknown number started to call...

Yu and his friends were on the phone with the kidnapper that took Nanako. They had to decipher who it was, and why he was calling the police station. The phone would give three rings, go silent, then give another three. It continued this pattern as the Investigation Team, made up of (Yu, Yosuke, Yukiko, Rise, Naoto, Teddie, and Chie) strategically planned what to do.

"Maybe he's mocking us?" Yosuke offered. He stared at the phone intensely as he contemplated picking it up himself.

"Or perhaps he is trying to egg us into chasing him," Naoto hypothesized herself, adjusting her trademark hat. Her glance would find itself on Yu from time to time, who was as cold as a statue. Whatever they felt must have been ten-fold for him.

"He could be tryin' to get us to waste our time when we should be out there _**kicking his ass**_!" Kanji barked, all but pulling his friends out by the collar to hunt down the asshole that took Senpai's cousing!

"But we have to make sure what he's planning before we go out there," Yukiko tried to reason with the group, her tone calm and maternal.

"I'm so gonna give him a flying Dragon Kick right to his face!" Chie announced, her energy matching Kanji's.

"But we should probably deal with this phone before anything else," Rise said, jumping onto Yukiko's side of the issue. "It could be important. I mean, we don't even know who the guy is!"

"Nana-chaaan..." Teddie moaned out, all enthusiasm drained from him.

Yu took the initiative, picking up the phone to answer. His finger also pressed the 'speaker' button, allowing for the group to hear.

"_**Hello?**_" a warped voice said. Whoever was on the other line was changing their voice to be more robotic and harder to trace.

The group leaped at the chance, crowding around the phone. Various shouts of 'let her go!' and 'I'll kill you!' were heard as they fought for the most attention. All except for Yu, who was nowhere to be seen.

In the end, Naoto won dominance over the conversation. The others politely backed off, allowing her to converse with the suspect.

"Where is the child?" she asked coolly, using a calm demeanor and tone. Some would say it was badass, others that it wanted to be badass.

"_**I'm going to save her. Because no one else can.**_" the voice, despite the warped audio, was clearly disturbed. Whoever was on the other line sounded dangerous. It was the only way to describe it.

"If you tell us where she is, then _we _can save her," Naoto offered. "You have already failed numerous times. Do you think this one will end in success?"

"_**What are you talking about? I saved you t-**_"

The phone call was interrupted by Yu, who got his hands on a custodian broom, and was using it to destroy the phone. Bits of plastic and metal flew through the air as the Team panicked, trying to get the broom out of his hands. In the end, nothing but broken plastic and circuit board remained. The call was abruptly ended and over, with no way of contacting the killer again...

"Why would you do that!?" Naoto screamed at Yu, who was calmly putting the broom back where he found it.

"I should be asking you that!" Yu shot back, equally mad as her. "Because there was no way in Hell that I will negotiate with a Goddamned cyborg!"

She was dead. A kid was gonna die tonight.

* * *

_A/N_

Short and sweet. And an excuse for an Archer reference.


	6. The Naoto Incident 2

How long had it been? Three years? _Five?_ Yu couldn't remember. He could only stare at his wife in pure joy. Naoto was busy looking over old case files with Nanako, who expressed an interest in investigation.

"So you see," she said as she explained the outcome to Nanako, "because he worked in the local pet store, we were able to link the hair on his shoes to him."

"Wow!" Nanako couldn't help but say, brushing her long hair out of the way of her eyes. Despite being near eleven, she looked just as small as the day Yu met her. "That's so cool!"

"Yeah, it really is," Yu commented, watching the two from the kitchen. He was happy his uncle invited the two over for dinner, but he would have appreciated actually being able to _talk _to him. Right when they got there, Dojima secluded himself in his office, saying something about a case. He declined Naoto's offer to help, but it was kinda clear why...

"Oh!" Naoto squeaked out, a hand going to her round stomach. "I think she kicked."

"That's pretty rude," Yu joked, bringing drinks as he sat with the three at the table. He watched as Nanako talked with Naoto about names for the baby (Yu wanted 'Penis Crusher', but Naoto quickly shot it down). A buzz in his pocket surprised him, making him choke on his drink.

"What is it?" Naoto asked, worry clear on her face. She grew her hair out longer after high school, it reaching past her shoulders. If he didn't know better, Yu would have guessed she was a model.

"It's from my uncle," Yu explained. The text simply said 'Upstairs, _now_'. "He wants to talk to me about something."

"Should I go with you?" Naoto asked, already trying to get to her feet.

"Nah," Yu declined, walking to the stairs, "I think he just wants to say how proud he is or something. Stay here with Nanako."

"_Dojima sure gets sentimental..._"

* * *

"DO YOU DO BUTT-STUFF, YES OR NO!?" Dojima screamed out, holding Yu by the shoulders and shaking him like the red-headed step-child to an earthquake.

"Wh-What are you talking about!?" Yu could only ask in confusion. The minute he entered the room, his uncle took hold of him and shouted like a maniac. He could be forgiven if he was less than aware of the situation.

"I know that Naoto's a guy!" Dojima accused, his eyes full of shame and rage. "I know the whole story!"

"What?" Yu deadpanned, unable to comprehend his unstable uncle.

"You thought you could trick me with the dresses, and fake tits, and the _words _when you slap your meat together!" Dojima continued. His clothes were disheveled, he stank of sweat and coffee, his eyes had near pitch-black bags under them.

"Uncle," Yu tried to say, pushing Dojima off of him, "Naoto is a _woma-_"

"Stop your filthy lies, you protestant whore!" Dojima continued to shout, his fists clenched with fury. "I hacked into your travel account! A honeymoon in _Thailand_? I bet you got him some 'surgery' there! I know what happens there!"

"We stayed in the hotel the whole trip!" Yu argued, feeling a rising terror within him.

"TO FUCK LIKE WILD MONKEYS, I BET!" Dojima asserted. "WILD... _GAY _MONKEYS!"

Yu was sure by that point that Dojima had a mental breakdown. Even after they explained everything to Dojima, he was still convinced that Naoto's gender was ironically her facade the entire time...

"What about that gut!?" Dojima ranted on. "Is that a suit? Or did you hire some kind of contortionist midget!?"

"Uncle, how would that even be possibl-"

"And why!?" Dojima resumed the shaking. "Yu, are you into preg-porn!? And worse yet, it's _M-Preg_! WHY DO YOU KEEP DISAPPOINTING ME!?"

"U-Un-Uncle!" Yu tried to say above the shaking, feeling his head rock back and forth.

"Don't try to lay that internet bullshit on me about him being 'born a woman in a man's body'!" Dojima smacked Yu hard across the face. "I bet he's still got his!"

"His what!?" Yu found himself shouting. What was wrong with this man!?

"You know what I mean!" Dojima pulled his pants down in a flash, exposing himself to his horrified nephew. "Mine ain't that big, but it gets the job done! What about his!?"

Yu was silent for a while.

"I think I'm going to throw up..."

* * *

Naoto giggled along with Nanako as the younger girl continued her stories about her antics with her friends.

"So you managed to make it to school on time, and _not _drop the bread in your mouth?" Naoto asked sweetly, not calling the obvious bullshit.

"Yep!" Nanako said proudly, not admitting the obvious bullshit.

They both turned to see Yu come down from the stairs, a face belonging more to a ghost. He could barely keep himself standing, just shambling like a zombie to the girls.

"Oh, Yu," Naoto said, taking notice of her husband's horrified expression. "I thought I heard shouting. Was everything alright?"

Yu was silent once again.

"I saw my uncle's dick..."

* * *

_A/N_

Here's the long awaited sequel to the first chapter. Hope it was everything you hoped it would be.

This was fun to write.

Until Next Time!


	7. The Rise Incident

The crowd was electric. Cheers and howls echoed in the smoke-filled arena. Bright, neon spotlights slid through the darkness. The young woman standing on the stage, adorned in her school-girl clothes, gave a wide smile to the audience. The microphone clipped to her ear allowed her words to overpower the excited screams.

"Thank you all so much!" she told them, waving a hand as her backup dancers left the stage, satisfied with the way the show ended. The girl stayed, hearing the crowd shout the name 'Risette' over and over. Her smile only grew wider at that. A shadow from backstage, barely visible with the smoke and low lighting, caught her attention for half a moment. That's right. She had one more thing to do before she let them leave. "Now, if you all will let me, I have something I want to say!"

Silence wafted thicker than the fog. The audience of young kids, yearning for an idol to... idolize... were at the mercy of the brown-haired girl. Every twitch of her lips only furthered the anxious atmosphere. No matter what, they had to hear every word she said.

"As you all know," she began, her voice cheerful yet with a commanding tone to it, "I took the year off from being an idol. I was so worried that I was losing the real me, that I wouldn't know where I began, and Risette ended."

A few confused murmurs broke out, but were quickly hushed as the singer continued.

"Well, the past year taught me a lot," her eyes drifted to the shadow, turning her head to him. "I learned that all of this _is _me. That I love making you all happy, and that I wasn't sacrificing any part of myself to do it."

The crowd erupted with cheers, whistles, and a few tears from the more emotional fans. They too fell silent when they saw that Risette was not finished.

"And I have one person to thank for teaching me all of this," she said, waving the shadow to come on stage. A young, grey-bowl-cut-haired man came onto the stage, wearing a stylish, black jacket. His face was warm, if not statue-esque. He looked surprised, nearly reeling back into the darkness before sucking it up and meeting Risette on stage. "Yu Narukami, my senpai, helped me make friends that let me see the truth about myself. The good and the bad."

A sit-com-esque series of 'Daws' flooded the stadium, making Risette giggle and Yu go red.

"Yu," she said, turning her back to the audience and looking him in the eyes, "you've helped me grow so much during our time in Inaba. We laughed, cried, fought, played. I got to see you in drag, you got to see me in a swimsuit-" the touching speech was interrupted by a lone audience member that shouted out 'MOTHERFUCKER!', before being escorted out of the building "-despite the jealousy of others involved..."

She giggled a bit.

"I like to think that we're connected," she grabbed his hand, rubbing her thumb in his palm, "that I saved you... because you saved me."

More cheers erupted as the rest of the crowd got the idea. The idol was certainly implying something, and they smelled what it was. Words of encouragement were shouted; such as 'You can do it!' and 'Risette will find love with her senpai!'.

"S-So..." Risette felt her face go warm as her words melted in her mouth. She took a gulp of air, feeling her chest go tight. "I just want to say that I really liked playing with you and the others... An-And... I think my favorite part was when it was just with... you."

Once again, the arena was silent. So quiet that they could hear the people in the lobby outside. All were waiting for those three little words.

"Se-Senpai..." Risette stammered out, exaggerating a little to tease her audience, "I-I love you."

Yu remained quiet. He stood in silence, watching Rise pour her feelings out to him. He watched tears drip onto the stage-floor as the roller-coaster of emotions inside his friend tore their way through her. Those small, dainty hands undid the clipping to her microphone, handing him the small device. It was as small as a fly, even compared to Rise's palms. He looked up to her face, seeing smudged makeup due to her tears.

"Tell me what _you _think," Rise said simply, voice too quiet for the audience, and her smile made heartbreaking to Yu.

Yu cleared his throat, brought the microphone to his mouth, and said one sentence...

"Bitch, you ain't no Naoto."

* * *

_A/N_

This is the Dork. Sorry about... being dead, I guess? I've been busy with life, work, and Phantom Pain. Not only that, but I've been working on I guess a passion project of mine. That's been sucking the creativity out of me, but I'm having a lot of fun writing it. I'm not saying much beyond it being a Berserk thing. So if you're a fan of Berserk, get excited.

Until next time!

*Update

Looking back on it, that last line was kind of a cheap shot, and wasn't that funny. Hoping this one is much better.


	8. The Pageant Incident

The school's cultural festival was a rousing success. People from all over Inaba came to look at the stands made by the students, buying delicious food, and all around having a good time. The atmosphere oozed cheer and good tidings. It was impossible to deny that people were happy.

All except for a few boys standing in an empty classroom, with four uniquely colored teen girls putting makeup on them.

"This is so _embarrassing_..." Yosuke groaned as blush was applied to his cheeks. Red lipstick was already applied to his lips, his face still beating it in the shade department.

"Yeah," the larger blonde teen, Kanji, said as he was fitted for a white dress, "but that's the price you pay for signing them up for a model competition without their permission, senpai."

"Thanks for the exposition, Commander Assmunch!" Yosuke groaned, flinching as Kanji raised a fist in the air. "Man... where did Yu even go? He better not have walked out on us!"

"Nah, man," Kanji said, calming down as Yukiko placed a hand to shoulder. "Senpai ain't like that. He said something about making a special presentation and ran off to the art classes."

"Seriously?" Yosuke asked in bewilderment. "How far is this guy going...?"

"Sensei and I are gonna go at it one-hundred-and-ten-percent!" another blonde, the 'boy' known as Teddie said as he entered the classroom. His bright blue Alice in Wonderland dress was still scuffed and wrinkled, clearly leaving his makeup artist a bit too early. "I just know that me and him are gonna wow this crowd!"

"I seriously hope not..." Yosuke said, putting his head in his hands.

"Hey!" Rise said, a pouting frown on her doll-like face. "You're ruining your makeup!"

"Please, God," he said, his tone desperate and begging, "just kill me now..."

* * *

The stage was set in the middle of the school hallway. The lights were dimmed, and an impatient crowd was waiting for the show. The announcer, a teenaged boy wearing a wig belonging more to a rodeo clown than anyone else, stepped on stage, microphone in his hand. His smile was wide and excited, matching the crowd to a T.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" he said, raising his free hand in the air. "This year we have a treat! The first ever 'Miss' Yasogami High Beauty Pageant is here for your viewing pleasure!"

He waited for the cheers to stop.

"Now!" he continued as the applause, and groans, of the audience ceased. He scanned the crowd, trying to take note of all the cute girls he could see. His attention snapped back when he also noticed the length of the pause going on a bit too long. "We have a heck of a show here, folks. So let's not waste any time."

The lights shut off. A spotlight hit the right side of the stage, ready for the first contestant.

"From the streets of the city, she's pure disappointment from the minute she opens her mouth!" the announcer said, his eagerness getting a tad too creepy. "Introducing... Yosuke-chan from class 2!"

Yosuke, like a prisoner awaiting firing squad, walked out on stage. His 'theme' was that of a typical school girl. So he wore a blouse and skirt. His lips were a bright red from the lipstick, and his hair was pulled back into a ponytail.

"_I hate my life so much right now..._"

"Do you have any words for the audience, cutie?" the soon-to-be-murdered announcer said, not aware of the pure malice Yosuke bottled up.

"U-Uh..." Yosuke stammered. He knew he had no choice. He swallowed his pride and spoke. "H-Hi?"

He was met with groans and booing.

"Geez," the announcer said. "Almost makes you want to turn gay, huh folks?"

"H-Hey, man-!" Yosuke started before being silent.

"Next up is a special one folks!" he said, waving to the entrance to the stage. "She's a hardened one at first glance, but she's a sweetheart when you know her!" The lights went down again. "Kanji, from Class 1!"

Kanji walked out on stage. His theme was of Marilyn Monroe. His hair was done in the same style, and he wore a dress exactly like hers. His face was whitened due to the powder he was forced to use, and the earrings he wore made him feel like ten-tons of jackass.

"We better not hope for a gust of wind, folks!" the announcer waved back to Kanji, who gave little more than a middle finger to the audience.

"But moving on to our next contestant!" he said, gesturing once again to the stage. "Calling herself 'King of the TV World', we have a bundle of adorable wrapped up and waiting to come out!" His silence set the audience on edge, waiting for the introduction.

"Heeeere's Teddie-chan from Class... doesn't matter!"

Teddie skipped out on stage, shocking everything there. Even the cameras. His long, flowing blonde hair complemented his clean, well maintained dress. He did a few laps around stage, blowing kisses to the audience and making peace signs. He ran up to the announcer and stole his microphone.

"Give me your hearts!" he called to the audience, who clamored in confusion,

Some could not believe that Teddie was a man. Others called for his disqualification for the exact same reason. And a very select few shouted for him to show off his tits, unaware that he did not have the.

"Well," the announcer said, unable to argue with the majority. "I think we have a winner, folks! Teddie is out 'Miss'-!"

"Hey, wait a second!" Yosuke shouted. "What about Yu!? Where the Hell is he!?"

"Yu?" the announcer asked. "Yu Narukami?"

"Yeah!" Kanji shouted, stamping his feet as his face went red. "Senpai was supposed to compete with us! Where is that back stabber!?"

The moment Kanji spoke, the projector began. On the curtains of the stage, a video was broad-casted. A disturbing techno beat was played as it zoomed in on a pair of teenaged lips. A hand brought up a thing of lipstick, putting it on their lips as the song continued.

"_**Would you fuck me**_?" the teenager in the video asked, not moving the camera. "_**I'd fuck me... I'd fuck me so hard...**_"

The teenager in the video stepped back, revealing himself as Yu Narukami, the teenager in question. He wore a wig of long, gray hair. He kept his legs tight together, hiding his gentials as he wore nothing. He was as naked as the day he was born. All he had was a small blanket he stretched across his back, each hand holding one end. He danced with the music, staring directly into the camera.

The entire audience could only watch in horror as another voice began.

"_Please!? Is anyone there!?_"

Kanji and Yosuke recognized it as Naoto's voice. She sounded panicked and afraid.

"_I need assistance!_" She was out of frame, unable to be spotted as Yu continued his dance."_My classmate has suffered a mental breakdown!_"

"_**It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!**_" Yu shouted to Naoto offscreen.

"_Senpai, please-!_"

"_**PUT THE LOTION IN THE FUCKING BASKET!**_"

"Let's never do this event again," Ms. Kashiwagi said to the elderly principal, unable to peel her eyes from the screen.

"Agreed."

* * *

_A/N_

I fucking love Silence of the Lamb. I apologize for nothing.

Until Next Time!


	9. The Introduction Incident

Cold air nipped at Naoto's face. She shivered as she bundled herself up in the trench coat she never left home without. Her nose was a bright red as the chilly Winter winds licked her. Her hand fell to her abdomen, feeling that nauseating sensation that was the cause of their traversing the cold.

And by 'their', she meant herself and the bowl-haired boy that stood beside her, Yu Narukami. He was a tall, stoic boy with a light gray color to his hair. He visibly shifted in the snow, discomfort oozing from every fiber. They stood before an elegant mansion, awaiting at the door. The large, intimidating building dwarfed the young woman. She held her boyfriend's hand tightly in her own as the nerves jostled her once again.

"You sure you want to do this?" Yu asked, turning to Naoto. His eyes all but begged the girl to allow them to leave. "My family's a bit... eccentric."

"Compared to the rest of our friends," Naoto said, swallowing a hard lump in her throat, "how bad could they possibly be?"

They rang the door bell to the mansion, standing out in the cold as they waited for someone to answer. The wind howled as the minutes ticked by. Yu turned to the car more than once. Something was clearly wrong with the boy, but Naoto refused to pry. She was having her own reservations as it was.

"Look," Yu began, breaking the silence. "We'll tell them the news. Chit chat for a bit. Then get out before it gets too bad."

"Senpai, please," Naoto deadpanned. Her fingers rubbed her head as a migraine drove her mad. "I highly doubt your parents are as bad as you keep implying."

"You'll see..." Yu said as the door opened.

A young, beautiful woman stood at the entrance. In her hands, she held a tube of lipstick. Her bright red dress clashed against the white snow. The glow of the fireplace provided the couple with warmth. The woman had long, black hair that flowed past her shoulders. Her face was sculpted by the Gods themselves, the pure image of perfection.

"Oh! Yu!"

The hug she gave him crushed his bones, making him wheeze and gag. Naoto watched in horror as her boyfriend was released, his limp corpse falling to the ground. Only small movements from his chest proved he was still alive. The woman's eyes shot to Naoto, who helped up her arms in fear.

"And who might you be...?" The Woman in Red asked, her smile sweet and welcoming. Naoto dropped her arms, lowering her guard as the sight relaxed her.

"N-Naoto!" Naoto answered, eyes wide in fear. "Naoto Shirogane!"

"Oh, yes!" The Woman in Red said, giving Naoto a polite bow. "I've heard so much about you. I'm Hiriko Narukami. Thank you for taking care of my son all this time."

"I-It was no trouble, Hiriko-san," Naoto said. Her eyes drifted to Yu, who finally got back to his feet.

"Thanks for that, mom, " Yu spat, cracking his back as a numbness took his hands. "Really needed spine damage."

"Hush now," Hiriko said. She wagged a finger in her son's face, unamused by his sarcasm. "Your father is inside, waiting for you. Come in before you catch your death!"

The two took the invitation with glee. They wiped their feet of the snow before they took off their shoes. A heavy cinnamon scent filled their nostrils. They looked around, the doorway connecting to an extravagant living room. Two couches were already prepared for them. Hiriko sat on one, next to a thin man whose back was turned to the duo. His suit was grey, matching Yu's hair to a T. His hair was also a thick black, confusing Naoto on just how Yu got his hair to begin with.

"We're in the danger zone..." Yu said, taking Naoto's hand. He pulled her along to the second couch, a comfortable leather piece of furniture that sunk in like a marshmallow. Naoto felt another wave of nausea hit her, though whether it was her nerves or that other reason, she didn't know.

"So," Hiriko said, pouring a cup of tea for herself from the tea kettle that sat on the coffee table in front of them. She dropped a single sugar cube into the brew, stirring it with a small spoon be for sipping it. "This is the Great Naoto Shirogane that enraptured my child?"

"I'm afraid so," Naoto said nervously. She fiddled with the cap on her head, too nervous to remove it, yet panicking that it was still on her head.

"Well," Yu's mother said, that smile still on her face. "I am quite proud of him. You are extremely beautiful."

"Th-Thank you?" Naoto said, completely blindsided by the statement. Not many called her -that-, and she wasn't used to it whatsoever.

"You did a good job son," the old man said, giving Yu a thumbs up.

"Right..." Yu said, his eyes glued to his parents. What was their game...?

"How long have you two been seeing each other?" Hiriko asked, offering Naoto a cup of tea. The nervous bluenette accepted the cup, hoping it would calm her nerves.

"Th-Three years..." Naoto answered. The tea was quite delicious. It soothed her mind.

"My," Hiriko said, grabbing her husband's arm. "Even we weren't together that long before we got married!"

"I-Is that so...?" Naoto asked. Her hand drifted down to her abdomen once again. They both came from places of wealth and influence... would telling them hurt their families? What if they said no?

"A single year, and we knew!" Hiriko said in excitement. She gave a long, nostalgic sigh as the memories returned. "We were so young back then..."

"Y-You still look well for your age!" Naoto said, nearly spilling the tea on herself.

"Why thank you," Hiriko said with a nod. "Now, what was this news you had to tell us?"

Yu and Naoto froze in place. What were they going to do...? They had no choice!

"I assure you th-that the matter is important..." Naoto began, tea cup shaking in her hand.

"Please, dear," Hiriko said, her warm eyes meeting Naoto's. "You can tell us anything. You will always be like a daughter to us-"

"I'M PREGNANT!"

"-get the fuck out of my house, you disgusting whore." Hiriko said, her smile still on her face.

Naoto felt her heart break as the woman turned to Yu, who sighed in acceptance. This is what he was talking about...

"Yu..." Hiriko began, her voice cracking. "Why are you doing this to us...? Do you just hate me? 'Oh, mommy can just go die in a dark alley! I'm gonna knock up a tranny and leave my poor family alone to do with a loser brother that just smokes pot and masturbates all day!'"

"Mom, look-"

"Do you have any idea what it's like to raise a child that ends up a total loser!? He doesn't even know how to tie his shoes, Yu! He's twenty-eight!"

"Hiriko-san..."

"I've heard about you, Ms. Man!" Hiriko rose from her seat, a long, thin finger pointed to Naoto. "My brother made sure to keep me informed about it all! And despite the clear violation of medical science, you've somehow conceived!"

The husband sat in silence on the couch. They were all unaware, but he was imagining putting a Nickleback CD in the microwave and turning it on. He chuckled when the fire started, burning the jewel case to ashes.

"Mom..."

"I don't want to hear it, Yu!"

"Mom...!"

"I'm serious! If you ever come back here with her, you'll both wake up in separate mental institutions with total amnesia and different people's names!"

"MOM!" Yu screamed, paralyzing the ranting mother. Yu rose from his seat, putting his hands on his mother's shoulders. "For one, I am truly sorry."

"Oh Yu..." Hiriko said her hands cupping her son's face.

"And two-" Yu punched his mother square in the face, knocking her to the floor and out like a light. "That's for giving me a book last Christmas! You're rich, you jerk!"

Naoto stood, mouth agape at the scene before her.

"Quick!" Yu said, retrieving a small capsule from his pocket. "Let's blow this popsicle stand!"

The capsule shatters against the ground, clouds of smoke flooding the room along with it. In the ensuing chaos, Yu and Naoto ran out the door and back to their car. They drove off as fast as they could, hoping to get as far away from their 'family' as possible.

"You really punched your mother in the face?"

"Yep."

* * *

A/N

This was a fun one to write. XD

It's kinda supposed to be a parody of those "Meet the Parents" fics you see all the time. Cheesy dialogue regarding family and acceptance. Sprinkle in some fluff. And add a batch of immediate acceptance into the family.

Their not meant to be the most challenging of things. Just nice little fluff things to play out a fantasy the reader may have had.

This is simply my version of one. XD

Until Next Time!


	10. The Update Incident

UPDATE TIME! 

So this is the Dork.

Sorry for the lack of updates lately.

Been so absorbed with other things that I've barely had time to think of any new incidents. This got me thinking.

The month of Incidents!

You guys offer a one sentence idea, I write it out, and we all reel in horror at what we've seen.

Just PM me an idea for an incident and I'll write it out and give you all of the credit... you whore.

So for the month of February, expect a lot of updates.

Until Next Time!

Well... actually... I should make this a chapter out of good conscience.

Here's a special one for the fans!

* * *

Yu fisted Naoto.

Dojima walked in.

Shenanigans ensued.


	11. The Confession Incident

The air around them was suffocating. No matter how hard they tried, neither could get so much as a wisp of oxygen into their lungs. Petals filled the air around them, bright white and dancing in the air. The traditional shrine was a place of many memories for Yu and Naoto. It was a place of calming meditation for the bundled up detective, and one of frustration and dumb, stupid, asshole animals for Yu.

"S-Senpai..." Naoto began. Her face was as red as a beet, eyes glued to the stone walkway they stood on. She was antsy as she stood, twiddling her thumbs, keeping her hands together behind her back. An urge to vomit hit her when she realized how ridiculous she must have looked. "Wh-Why did you jump ahead of that knife!?"

A horrid misunderstanding took place mere moments before. They had been investigating the case of the 'Phantom Thief', a criminal that had swiped several items from the Shirogane homestead. The duo went on a wild goose chase hunting down the trinkets; finding them to be childhood mementos of Naoto. But the last clue led them to the town shrine, and they were face to face with the Phantom Thief. Yu saw a knife come from the well dressed man's pocket, selflessly jumping in front of Naoto the moment he noticed it. Such heroics stunned his companion, who flew into a rage the minute the man ran off.

"Sen-Senpai!" Naoto yelped, her voice cracking. Tears dotted her blue eyes, streaming down her cheeks. "Why do you always feel like you need to protect me!?"

Yu watched as Naoto collapsed into his arms. A wet spot formed on his white button-up shirt. Her wracking sobs sent shivers down his spine. He could do nothing but stroke her hair, hoping she would control herself after a bit.

"I can't be a strong woman if I can't handle a man defending me..." she croaked, sniffling her nose. Yu's warmth comforted her immensely, and she hated every second of it. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't help but cling onto her senpai, refusing to let go.

"Naoto..." Yu began, feeling her arms tighten around him.

"Please," she begged, feeling a breeze cut through her coat, right into her core. "I just want to know _why_..."

Yu raised an eyebrow, looking down at the shattered girl.

"Why do you always rush in to save me...?"

"Because..."

Yu's silence took far too long. Naoto felt a spark in his brain. A shock in her spine. Blood rushed to her face all over again. She tightened her grip, hoping to crush him before any more words slipped from his lips.

"I want to do sex things to you."

….. What...?

"What...?" Naoto asked, raising her reddened face to meet Yu's gaze. The boy held an expression as hard as iron. His eyes were darkened. The pure aura of the grey-nette terrified Naoto. She had a puzzled look, silently begging for more answers.

"I wanna have happy genital-jamboree time with you," Yu continued, holding the girl tighter against him. Personally, he felt like he was nailing it.

"Genital-jamboree time...?" Naoto asked, pushing away from Yu's grasp.

"I'll nail you so hard that you'll set off every metal detector in Colorado," Yu said, voice dark and melodramatic.

Naoto remained silent, staring at her senpai in absolute awe.

"Get it...?" he asked, a small smile on his face. "Because nails are made of meta-"

"I GET IT!" Naoto screamed, deafening Yu, who clutched his ears for dear life. Jackhammers drilled into his skull. A high pitched whine stayed in his head, refusing to give him back his hearing.

"Okay, Miss Shrieky..." Yu said, smacking the side of his head. "A little bit of an overreaction, don't you think?"

"I can not believe you!" Naoto ranted on, smacking Yu's hands whenever he tried to put them on her shoulder. "You have absolutely no intuition! No class! No _tact_!"

"Is this about how I said that I'll fist you so hard that you'll shit backwards for a week?" Yu asked, an innocent look on his face. He reminded Naoto of a small puppy, trying to cuddle up to its master after it ate out of the garbage.

"THAT IS ENOUGH!" she roared. Her face was a deep purple, a deep scowl burnt on. Smoke flowed from her nostrils. Blue eyes were now a crimson red, anger filled her being.

"Not really," Yu said, shrugging his shoulders. He pulled out note card after note card from his coat pockets. Yu scanned each one, dropping them to the ground when he finished reading them. "I have about thirty of these left. You mind if I keep going?"

"I am leaving, Yu..." Naoto said, turning her back to the distracted boy.

"Oh!" he boomed in excitement. "Now I can use this one!"

He cleared his throat.

"Your ass makes me want to put a saddle on your back and ride you into town," the melodramatic voice was back, tone serious and dark.

"If you read another one of those horrid things, I will shoot you where you stand," Naoto declared, pulling her revolver from her hip holster.

"I'll make you shoot all over the place, gir—GAH!"

She made good on that threat.

* * *

_A/N_

Yu's such a pimp.

This Incident was offered by LeafyDream. He wanted a thing about the confession scene. Hope this was what you were after, buddy.

Here's a link to his profile: u/7325545/

PM more Incidents for me to right. A bunch of awesome ideas already got offered already. Gonna use every single one.

Until Next Time!


End file.
